My name is Cypress (they /them).

I'm a farmer and artist, activist and dreamer, homesteader and adventurer. I love to hike, trail run, and explore in nature; I feel the safest and most at peace solo in the mountains with my dog. It’s just when other people are involved that everything comes crashing down, I'm a modern day mad hermit in all that entails!

At first glance you likely wouldn't think I'm disabled or see how much I struggle. The reality is that I'm autistic, ADHD, have generalized anxiety, a panic disorder, major depressive disorder, and complex PTSD. I've survived complex trauma, gun violence, and the daily violence of being visibly gender non-conforming, autistic, and mad (a term I self-identity with) in a world that silences difference.

My anxiety and depression were diagnosed in college while the rest of my conditions went unrecognized, leaving me confused, frustrated, and unable to adequately accommodate or care for myself. Multiple, cyclical episodes of autistic burnout through my 20’s (which I mistook as depression) forced me out of two consecutive schools and back to living with my parents while I recovered. Each one caused me to lose more and more executive functioning skills, lose jobs, lose friends, lose apartments and slowly lose any ability to function in public (which was limited to begin with). I hid it as best I could from the people around me but something had to give.

Discovering I was autistic changed everything. This led to my ADHD, cPTSD, and agoraphobia diagnoses and things finally started to make sense. I'm slowly working to rebuild my life in a way that respects and makes space for my limits. But, there is only so much my support network can do. Managing my symptoms and sensory sensitivities is a daily task and my life is still very limited. Public life is a maze of triggers and necessary tasks like grocery shopping, doctors appointments, and even going to the laundromat or post office can trigger shutdowns, meltdowns, dissociation, panic attacks, or flashbacks. Just anticipating needing to leave the house, even for something I enjoy, can trigger an episode. When I do have an episode of some sort in public, it can be dangerous if I'm alone due to my loss of situational awareness, mutism, and cognitive ability.

A service dog would make a world of difference.

I have a wonderful emotional support dog Mica (pictured above!) who, while not formally trained, helps me so so much at home and out hiking. I understand the powerful impact a dog can have on your life when you're struggling. But, she isn't suited to public access work where the majority of my more severe symptoms come into play so I need more support than she’s able to give.

Having a service dog to ground and comfort me in stressful situations, alert me when I'm slipping into a dissociative state, guide me somewhere safe when I'm dissociated or in a shutdown, help me feel safe and supported in public, and much more would change my life. I could be a part of the world again instead of just skirting the edges.

Any and all contributions are deeply appreciated!